This letter by Barb Seegert was originally published in Volume 47, Issue 3, and is reposted here.
Almost every human culture comes up with some sort of ideal way of being that no one individual can possibly live up to. The whole culture is set up for this ideal or cultural norm. The more a human fits this ideal, the more they get to participate in what rewards the culture has to offer.For instance, most doors are set up for opening by means of pulling or pressing because the ideal way of being includes legs for walking and arms for pushing and pulling. Until recently, we discriminated against people who could not open a door. As a penalty for being less than the cultural norm, we forced them to ask others to open a door for them, or be denied entry. “Normal” is a continuum. The more a person fits the cultural norm, or the closer a person comes to being ideal, the more that person gets to participate in the culture and reap the rewards it has to offer--usually social and financial.
Many make their way through their whole lives feeling Less Than. A few finally reach the realization that we were all Less Than. Only when an individual understands that all humans have some aspect of the self that is secretly or blatantly at odds with their ideal, does that individual gain self acceptance.
Self acceptance is not a fixed thing. It has to be renewed as often as it is challenged. The human culture that we live in presents us with challenges every day, and that cultural ideal that people try to measure us by changes as well. Even though a person may accept the self, they are challenged by those who do not accept them.
We cannot truly change what others think, but by continuing to accept ourselves as we are, in the face of the challenges, we can, hopefully, make it easier for others to accept who they are. If it is only when we accept ourselves that we can accept others, then continuing to accept ourselves in the face of the daily challenges is the greatest gift we can give to humanity.
I applaud Cadie Brusky, for continuing to accept herself as she is, in the face of the challenges she must face from a human culture that discriminates against her. It was especially brave of her to play the part of Helen in Fat Pig, which so aptly challenges us to examine what we hold as our ideals or cultural norms.
Great job, cast and crew!
Now let’s all accept ourselves... let’s all go forth and change some cultural norms... let’s change our definition of idea... let’s expand what we accept as normal!
Respectfully Submitted,
Barb Seegert